The “Personal Slave” Message

Previously, I have discussed ground zero… The creation of my online dating profile.

I learned, (and I learned this very quickly) that I needed context to my profile.

I think posting only photos to your profile… And filling out the standard “dating profile questionnaire”… Leaves a guy’s imagination, to what you are actually looking for, room to run wild.

And… You don’t want that. 

(Fill out your profile… It helps… Slightly…)

A few choice messages led me to filling out my profile… With words…

Which led to my introductory paragraph:

“Apparently I need to fill this out. I am not looking for “a good time”, a personal slave, or any other type of ridiculousness I have received in messages.”

What I also learned by writing this? Apparently, it makes for a good topic of first discussion… 

The message that started it all:

Go on…. Before I agree to anything… I need details about this endeavor…

As intriguing as you might think this sounds…

No. But… Thanks? 

(Perhaps I gave off a Christian Grey vibe??? Hmmm…)

What I would like to thank you for, though… Is for the initial send of this message… Which caused my need to write about it in my profile… And all the entertaining messages that ensued after your awesome message…

Nope. I just randomly made that up.

See message above. Yes. Someone, indeed, asked me that.

(You CANNOT make this stuff up…)

Should it be a boost to the ego?

Because… It definitely wasn’t…

In actuality- it made me wonder what was wrong with me that I was attracting weirdos, freaks, and perverts.

But hey… If that should be an ego boost?!

I’ll work on that….

Really, buddy. Like I said… You can’t make this stuff up.

As creative as I’d like to think I am… This is something you only mention from pure experience.

True story. 

I fully agree though- definitely a little far. (Although, not the worst message I have received…)

 

You might be right, had you read my profile correctly.

I was not asked to be someone’s personal slave. I was asked if I would like one. (I believe I said I wasn’t looking for A personal slave…)

Grammar. Who needs it anyway…

Ok. As much as you probably were joking…

This… Is creepy.

I do not want to go for a ride in your van. Unless there is a promise of candy in the trunk. Then we’ll talk.

People are crazy “Mister”.

Funny thing about this message…

This person was not a stranger. (Small world, right?)

The funnier thing… He didn’t recognize me…

And what’s even funnier than that?! He dated my friend.

And I know for a fact… You are not one of the “good guys”. You are crazy.

But try that line with someone who doesn’t know you…. It will probably work.

Until your crazy comes out, of course. 

Who would have guessed… That my innocent mention of what I’m not looking for… Would have sparked so many interesting messages…

I guess it is… After all… An interesting icebreaker… 

It’s a shame he deactivated his profile. (I would have advised him to try the personals in Craigslist…) but… I would also have liked to have known if anyone responded to that message…

Or… Perhaps that’s why he deactivated his profile?!?!

I guess… We will never know…